Have you ever postponed something important because you felt you needed to be more ready? To do a one more research, read one more book, take one more course, learn one more thing? I know I definitely have and still am. I have had many ideas to start the business of my own for a decade, but here I am; still thinking about it, still researching, still preparing. Does this sound familiar?
We often think we’re preparing ourselves for action. But what if we’re actually preparing ourselves to delay it?
We are waiting to be more prepared, more confident, more certain.
The funny thing is, looking back, I don’t think certainty ever came first. Action did.
Why We Think Our Future Self Will Be Braver Than We Are Today?
Because we constantly tell ourselves:
“I’ll do it next year.”
“When things calm down.”
“When I know more.”
“When I save more.”
“When I feel ready.”
Future Me becomes this magical person, but Future Me is usually just Present Me… with older excuses.
What Are You Really Waiting For?
We often believe we’re waiting for clarity. But maybe we’re waiting for permission.
Permission to fail. Permission to be a beginner. Permission to not know. Permission to disappoint people. Permission to change. Permission to become someone different.
Imagine you had complete clarity about your next step.
Would you suddenly feel no resistance? I don’t think so.
There would still be:
- “What if nobody buys?”
- “What if I’m not good enough?”
- “What if I waste years?”
- “What if I fail publicly?”
So maybe…
Clarity isn’t actually the thing we’re waiting for.
I think that resistance often protects something.
The interesting question becomes:
What would happen if you actually started?
Because then things become real. It’s no longer a dream. It’s no longer an idea. It’s something that can succeed… or fail.
I think that’s where the real resistance often lives.
Not in the: “I don’t know how.” But: “Can I become someone who does this?”
Those are completely different questions. We tend to imagine the whole staircase. When really…we only ever climb one step.
Our brain is trying to solve Year 5. Before we’ve even started Day 1.
We imagine that one day we’ll finally feel ready. The truth is, very few people feel ready to leave a job, start a business, move countries, publish a book or have children. They become ready because they begin. Not before.
That’s because we imagine the future from our current identity.
But our current identity doesn’t yet know who we’ll become through the process.
The Hidden Comfort of “Preparation“
Think about it. Preparation feels productive. We feel like we are actually doing something but, are we?
We are – reading, planning. researching, organizing, learning, watching videos, buying another notebook, another course, another productivity app.
All of this feels like progress. We are doing something towards it, but still haven’t actually started doing it.
From my personal example;
I wanted to start this blog for a very long time, my little creative outlet where I can share something that may have positively influence someone’s life. I had an idea. I spent days preparing, researching, reading… Until one day I decided to make a first step and actually I bought the hosting, then a domain and a theme. The blog wasn’t perfect and still isn’t. I started writing anyway.
Preparation feels safe because it gives us the feeling of making progress without exposing us to failure, judgment, or uncertainty.
It allows us to enjoy the satisfaction of “doing something” while avoiding the vulnerability of actually beginning.
Sometimes preparation is necessary. Sometimes it’s simply fear wearing a productive disguise.
At some point, preparation stops being preparation and becomes avoidance.
You Don’t Need More Information. You Need More Repetitions.
In my earlier posts, I touched the topic of changing identity. You can read more about it here. We don’t change identity by waking up one day and making a life altering decision. You don’t wake up and say “From today I am going to be healthy person who is always active…” No, you become that person by action, boring repetitive action. And then one day you become a runner, you become a person with healthy lifestyle, a person that regularly trains.
As long as an idea stays in our imagination, it stays perfect. Moving to action forces us to discover the true limits of our talent and intelligence.
Action exposes us to the feedback, judgment, and potential criticism of others, whereas planning can be done entirely in secret.
One sentence that has stayed with me is: Clarity doesn’t create action. Action creates clarity. No runner becomes a runner by thinking about running. No writer becomes a writer by imagining a book. No entrepreneur becomes an entrepreneur by perfecting a business plan. They become those people by doing the work – one imperfect step at a time.
What are we actually postponing?
As long as you are ‘getting ready’ to go to the gym, or ‘planning’ that business, you get to remain a genius in your own mind. You get to keep the beautiful illusion that you could do it if you wanted to.
But preparation is a slow anesthesia. By avoiding the risk of a messy start, you are successfully postponing the only thing that can save you: the truth of who you actually are when you stop hiding behind a spreadsheet.
Action replaces imagination with reality. Sometimes that reality is success. Sometimes failure. Sometimes a completely different direction than we expected. But reality always answers questions that imagination never can.
We say: “I need clarity.” But maybe what we actually mean is: I want certainty that this effort will pay off.
Now that’s different. Because clarity is achievable, but certainty isn’t.
No entrepreneur has certainty. No writer. No artist. No one starting something meaningful.
There’s a concept called the competence-confidence loop.
People often think:
Confidence → Action → Competence
But in reality it’s usually:
Action → Small competence → More confidence → More action
Confidence is often the result, not the prerequisite.
If you want to know more about competence-confidence loop, click here.
Some people are avoiding: failure, some rejection. Others may be avoiding; responsibility. uncertainty, becoming someone different.
What are you personally waiting for?
Is it:
“Can I become someone who does this?”
The moment you ask that question, you’ve quietly shifted from worrying about the project to worrying about yourself.
Because that’s what actually happens. The business becomes a mirror. The book becomes a mirror.
The relationship becomes a mirror. The blog becomes a mirror. The person living a healthy lifestyle becomes a mirror.
Because every meaningful project eventually stops asking: “Can you do this?” and starts asking: “Who are you becoming while doing this?”
Or maybe it’s:
“Am I willing to meet the version of myself that doesn’t exist yet?”
The person you’re waiting to become…
…is waiting for you too. Not because they’re hidden somewhere inside you. But because they can only exist after you begin.
You don’t meet them through thinking. You meet them through action.
Maybe the question isn’t: “When will I finally feel ready?”
Maybe it’s: “What part of my life is waiting for me to stop waiting?”
The business owner didn’t start as “a business owner.”
The writer didn’t start as “a writer.”
The confident speaker didn’t start feeling confident.
They all started as people doing something awkwardly, repeatedly, long before it became part of their identity.
Maybe the version of you you’ve been waiting to become has been waiting for you to begin all along.
Love&Light,
Romy
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